Tuesday, January 18, 2005 Lugubrious, she lies in a pool of tears, she thinks about how life is treating her. Her ups were filled with happiness, her mirth exploited by loved ones around her, her energy depleted on the very souls who fed on her gaiety. Like banshees they sucked out every element of exuberance and left her with nothingness. She is left alone to replenish what she has lost, once too many times and now, she is left with no emotion to work on. All she feels is empty and preterition, and although there are avenues to help with the process, she is too heart broken to accept or comprehend. Her life is a mess, her loved ones oblivious to her endurements, all they see is the cherubic exterior that they want to see. They block out the dysphoria and see only the laughter. Truth is, the real laughter, the ones that are in her soul is lost. Something in her really wants to break free and be in complete felicity again...to not have the slightest care in the world...to be the free spirit she was, to let go of the weight on her shoulders, to enjoy life once again. She still lies in that pool...