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Friday, April 15, 2005
Look into my eyes, do you see whats in there. Do you see what i'm feeling, words cant speak it, it dosen't exist in the language of the world. I'm often misunderstood, dun shy away from me. Learn me, just as i'm trying to learn you. I'm perceived as arrogant, because i look it. I be it sometimes, to save myself from the harshness of the way you are. Id rather be supercilious then to be hurt, though i am at times. By your misconception, the fixed paradigm you have. Look at it through my eyes, and you'll figure that one out. I sometimes think i have no words left to speak, because you are malicious. You perceive me as the average person when i'm not. I have alot to offer, i welcome you with open arms for you to rob me of my individuality, then you turn and walk away.Such ludicriosity. I keep doing these things to myself. Why? For the hope of goodness in people. Such a foolish act on my part. I dont regret it.You were there,for a while, till you fond new victims. When you've taken everythin, right down to the bare essentials of my soul. Well, I'm happy you've victimised new ones, for they will learn what i have. If they truly are there, they'll tell you to ya face, and hopefully, this vicious cycle wll stop. I take all your gifts graciously, and thank god every day for what i have, though i have nothing to show for it. I can now wake up every morning, feeling good, and contented for i had someone like you. Exultant,i don't anymore. My heart's been closed behind a door, baricatted behind a brick wall that is tryin to be hacked down, by people who actually care. They actually think i'm worth it. As for you, i hope you enjoy your mediocre life, for i have left that playground a long time ago. I need more the that, cuz i am bigger then you. Age is just a number, and even then i outshine you. Have a nice life...

With that, i'd like to make a shout out to my friends...(that was not intended for any ex-bf i have, for the people who came and went in my life, for people who will feel the pinch when they read it.)
Nisha, thank for the help on everything, it was gd to have whatever misunderstandings clear ad not let some silly issue get between us.
Linda, who was the neutral party(well at least you showed no malice) and for helpin me geth through this rough few weeks of school.
Farah, who was always there to point out my flaws, Miss-the-legs-in-my-numbness, miss i-wanna-get-that-machine-so-i-can-do-stuff-with-it(i leave it to the readers imagination what dis gurl was talkin abt). And for being my friend throughout the entire ordeal. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. You think i wont post this up rite..you were very very wrong..ah..ambik kau!(minah moment there)
Thank you syaheed, my confidante, shaik, my moronic best friend and sudip..who always left me wondering why...you knw wat i'm talkin abt.

My basketball buddies, Syaheed, Eric, Chris, Yasz, Prem, Rupen, Faisal aka Peichai, Ashley, thank you for lettin me be one of da guys..You guys rock. Bball every sunday is my release.Your jokes are my therapy. Shooting better then all of you put together, is my gift. hehehehe..i'm gonna get whacked by dat comment. When are we playin ball again!!! Oh well, i love you guys.

I'm gettin sleepy, so i'm gonna turn in. ciao..Kudos to all of ya...

 latest ramblngs at 2:00 AM